As a “new” Mom, I’ve come to realize that I am spread REALLY REALLY thin. When I’m being pulled in several different directions, quite often, the things I cherish most (including my hubs) get taken for granted. It’s not that they aren’t a priority, but I know that they will “cut me some slack” and ALWAYS forgive.
That being said this post is dedicated to my husband and although we have a little one that needs our attention, you can use any of these tips (where there’s kiddos in the picture or not) to make your sweetie feel sweet!
STAYING PRESENT WITH EACH OTHER
It’s so easy to become unintentionally distracted by escaping into the digital world. Limit your use of electronic and phones while you are with your family (and especially in the evening).
SAY “I LOVE YOU”
So simple yet so meaningful. Say “I love you” before you leave. We never know what life will throw at us. Although you may be rushing out the door, take a moment to acknowledge your life partner.
LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN
There are so many times when I am doing all of the talking – sharing how parts of my day didn’t go according to plan. Instead, ask you spouse about his day and actually LISTEN to the answer.
Make a special meal, head out to a restaurant, pop some champagne, or grab a small gift. Don’t wait to celebrate even the small events. Cherish and honor those “moments” as well as the “milestones.”
Need more inspiration to “celebrate now and collect bad wines” check out Rick Elia’s 5 Minute TED talk here.
SCHEDULE A DATE NIGHT (and keep it!)
I have to admit that I need a lot of work on this one. I am a huge planner so you’d think that this one wouldn’t be a problem for me. The one constant is that our lives will always be in flux. Don’t use lack of time as an excuse. Find a time, even if its just 60 minutes, to have a “date” with your spouse and do your best to focus on each other and not have the conversation consumed with the kids. If you’re always rescheduling your date night, you may need to re-evaluate your priorities and elevate time with your spouse.
HEALTHY INDIVIDUAL INTERESTS
Its ok to have your own interests. Your individuality is what made your partner fall in love with you. Make the time to do things that you enjoy and that fill you up and support your spouse when he’s doing the same.
In my “life before a kid” I attended several Pilates Conferences, which were usually held at golf resorts during the off-season. We would travel there together and while I was in trainings all day, the hubs would have free reign to golf ALL DAY LONG. These trips renewed our connection because we were both so incredibly fulfilled at the end of the day from doing things that we LOVED.
START DATING AGAIN
Do you remember that feeling when you were first dating? The excitement you’d feel when you knew you were going to see each other? See your partner through this same lens again and let him know it. When he’s looking good – TELL HIM! Share you admiration.
No explanation needed – its that simple. When you’re wrong…apologize.
What are some other ways that you reconnect? How long have you been together and what’s your biggest word of advice. Share this in the comment section!
Live your WHOLE life,
Meg + Shannon
8 steps to living happily…
May I add to always and I mean always focus on the good in the other. The bad is easy to spot and think about. If you see something you don’t like, discuss it with spouse and accept it. If you see the good you will be able to accept the other as that part that is special.
Always communicate in a loving and respectful manner meaning no sarcasm, hateful tone or yelling. And as mentioned above “Listen, Listen, Listen!”
Shannon Sullivan says
That’s so true Tim! It can definitely be hard to focus on the positive, but it’s so important and can make all the difference in a relationship!
very interesting and help all unhappy people. overall thanks to writer.
Meg Sullivan says
Thank you! It was a fun blog to write and even made me reset about focusing on what’s important! Thanks for your comment! Meg